it would be more of a pamphlet

a table full of strangers, eh? nice. damn, i think you've just found the title for my autobiography.

in the cover photo, i'll be the quiet one on the left, in the back.
frowning, but not really meaning it.

so of course everybody's heard the term "friends with benefits" right? ahh, but have you heard of "friends with drawbacks?" i suspect you may know what i'm talkin' bout. or not. anyway, my point was that you seem like an interesting young lady and i would like to hang out sometime mayhaps- but i can't come to the phone right now because i'm experiencing something of a metaphorical car crash happening in super-duper slo mo? or is that metaphysical? either way, it may not be the best time to pick up a passenger.

hey wait, why did i put a question mark back there? and more- is it really metaphorical, or just a simile? what do you want? i haven't slept in three days.

i think i would just rather feel melodramaitic about it. you know how life is not like the the movies, right? you don't get to skip over all the tedious, repetivie and just plain dull moments.
days of the same thing, over and over.
i don't have anything new to to say- i bring no entertainment value. it's like i don't want to call unless i can be mind-blowingly funny and
-super-
-with-
-it-.
this, of course, is idiotic; maybe even lame and selfish. but i have empathetic ocd. i convince myself i'm boring you to tears, whether i am or not. and i don't want to annoy you
(wear out my welcome)...
so instead of just calling and having normal conversation, it fits my world view better to just think you are bored with me, and
i'm a poor, misunderstood guy.